So, here I am a 48 year old single mother of grown and successful children. That is definitely an accomplishment for sure. They are moving forward, creating futures, planning and developing into wonderful adults. So, what the hell is going on with my life. Just when I thought that my life my just be going smoothly along I am laid off from my job. It's been 5 months since that devastating day. Hundreds of applications filled out and resumes emailed later, only 4 interviews. Less than 1 a month.
I contemplate my future daily. What will become of me and the millions of others in the same situation? How long will this go on? Is it me, is it something I said, is someone giving me a bad reference? Am I too fat, do I smell funny, do I answer wrong, is my breath rank, my clothes out of style, my resume out of date, not enough education, wrong skills, too many skills...??? Over and over these things run through my mind. What the hell is going on? I contemplate how much I could get for all of my belongings, what will fit in my car, what family member could I live with, how long will unemployment checks continue, what if I can't even get a minimum wage job...and so on,and so on.
I will be checking out cooking schools and massage schools next week. More IOU's for the future if I decide to do. And again, the thoughts run through my mind...what if I can't get a loan, what if I get in where should I live, full time or part time classes, will I be able to get a job right out of school, will I make enough money when I get out?
What the hell, I don't know and don't know what to do. I am lost and unemployed. Alone and jobless.
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